iPad - One week in Review

Fuck you Apple, I'll still call it the iPad 3.

That's right bitches. I sold my soul to the devil and grabbed myself an iPad, although it wasn't so much grabbing as asking the Apple Man nicely whether my non-hipster dress code was deserving of their shiny product.

It was.

"Which one did you get?" I hear you so desperately asking. The new one. I nearly got the "4G" version (Ha!) from T-Mobile actually, but thankfully they were out of stock and I saved myself a heap of cash from their 24 months contract when I re-evaluated whether the wifi model would do.

It would.

So yes, I've been playing with it, I've been spilling drinks on it. I even offered my friend to use it as a chopping board when he couldn't find his. And I figure perhaps it's time I give it a little review.

As the title suggests, this is a First Week impression review. I mean... I wouldn't review your mom right after sleeping with her. I need to get to know her first, take her out for dinner, find out her hopes and dreams, discover all her dirty little secrets and get use to her annoying laugh before submitting a five star review on Yelp.

But, of course first impressions do count - it can make or break a product's reputation. I'm no longer talking about your mom now by the way.

To fairly critique a multi-purpose product such a the iPad, I should probably start off by explaining why I bought it. You may laugh about this but... I bought it to write more...

The iPad 3 came out shortly before I took a week holiday from work. I'd planned on doing a bit of writing, a bit of video editing and a bit of filming. Instead, I spent the week in glorious sunshine doing pretty much everything BUT the above activities.

Towards the end of the week though I started noticing the amount of time I spent commuting, waiting, sitting bored in between activities with fuckall to do, whilst story and blog ideas came rushing at me left right and centre. I did lug around my huge laptop on Monday trying to get productive in a cafe hipster style. They laughed me out before I ordered my hot chocolate.

"Would you like marshmallow on top? You little girl!"

I certainly had no intention of breaking out the laptop on the train either. I didn't know what consequences ensues should I elbow the tattooed guy sitting next to me, even though he did smell of outdoor freshness. I resorted to playing with my iPhone and wept on the inside.


So I started Googling about "iPad and writing" to see what real writers think of the iPad. Sure enough a single reoccuring argument convinced me that it wasn't the worst idea in the world:

The iPad's lack of true multi-tasking ability actually creates the perfect distraction free environment that writers so desperately need.

In fact right now, I'm typing this very blog post on my shiny iPad 3.

Best iPad stand currently available.

(Photo by Veronica Belmont)

And I don't think I've ever gone this long writing a blog post without getting distracted by a cat video. So without dragging this inevitably long post any longer, here are some of the facts.

The Goods
It's fast as shit
Now I've never owned an iPad before so my judgement is based solely on using my ex's first-gen iPad in the past and touching random things in the Apple Store. The apps do load up lightning fast, and switching between apps (using the multi-gesture option) feels like gliding my fingers through your mom's hair.

I'll stop with that now...

Obviously performance will inevitably suffer over time when apps become more and more demanding of processing power - just as my iPhone 4 now feels slow and sluggish - I have little doubt in a year or two, the iPad 3 with suffer the same fake. But for now, the only thing it's slow at is making me sandwich. Like your m... nevermind...

The app will have to do.

It lasts for hours
Consumers have held a long-standing feud with electronic companies for years - we want our gadgets to have the battery life as portrayed by the Duracell bunnies - which is stupid.

First of all, those adverts only ever lasted about 30 seconds, not even your mom's vibrator electric toothbrush could finish its job in that amount of time; and secondly - electronic products use up electricity in proportion to how much you use it and what you use it for, deal with it.

I've been running around with the iPad in and outside the house for extended hours on end - watching videos, playing games, browsing the net, jotting down notes and downloading apps solidly for the past week. I've managed to run it down towards the 30% battery mark twice so far. I'd be lucky to get that much life out of my laptop, expecting any more from the iPad just seems out right unfair. So I'm giving it a thumbs up.

And you know where else that thumb's been up?

It does many things better than my laptop
I like reading and watching stuff, but only if I'm in the driving seat. I don't like to rush to the TV when it tells me to and having to turn down the volume of adverts in between shows - that's why I don't watch TV shows on TV.

Unfortunately I'm pretty shit at getting my reading and watching done on the laptop as well. I blame distractions. At any given moment I could see 11 tabs on my browser, all the applications I have opened, and all my Facebook friends online at the same time on the laptop. Shit doesn't get read easily.

Since I bought the iPad, my RSS feed went from 400 unread items (with average of 50 new items each day) to 0. I haven't had an empty Google reader feed since I first signed up. I've caught up on the TV Shows that I follow (The Community, New Girl, 30 Rock, South Park)...

Clearly the iPad environment is doing something right.

Quentin Tarantino is jealous he didn't create this show.

It goes places with me
I may be considered part of the last generation given 8 of my 10 favourite songs are probably from the 90s. (you call this shit music? Turn off that infernal at once! Get off my lawn!) But when it comes to toilet habits, I'm totally up to date with the current trends.

Yeah you know what I'm talking about.

With my pathetic attention span (hence the need for distraction free writing environments), I wouldn't even make pot noodles in the kitchen without needing to bring something to do or to watch while the kettle boils. That use to be the burden of my laptop, but it ends up being MY fucking burden when I try to figure out how to carry everything back to my room without scolding myself.

Whilst now, I only have to worry about scolding the iPad with Bombay Bad Boy.

"Whoopdy doo!" I hear you mock. Well in my generation of Nirvana and Oasis fans, it's much more acceptable to take iPads to the kitchen than a fucking laptop, even if we didn't know what iPad or iPod or iPant were in our days.

Ok... let's look at a more relatable scenario - Would I rather take my bulky laptop along with all the necessarily cables and power supplies to my friend's house to show him my photo collection, or my iPad that fits inside my totally masculine man-bag?

"Shit, I forgot to pack the mouse."

It's not as bad for typing as you think
This had to be the biggest worry I had before getting the iPad. What if I can't type jack shit on it?

Well considering I just churned out over 1,000 words without pulling my hair out already, I think you understand the point I'm trying to make.

The Bads
It's not as good for typing as I'd hoped
Ironic first point? Hardly, as timing would have it, these first few words took me 2 minutes to write because I kept mistyping stuff and accidentally touching the arrow key.

Ok, it's a bit unfair, as I did just run downstairs to refit my cereal bowl (single bowl of cereal is for pussies), and in the process - I lost my comfortable posture and tempo in typing on the iPad.

Typing on the iPad will take some getting used to, the lack of feedback for one, plus you really need to go into landscape mode. Even MY fingers are too fat for portray typing with two hands, and I've got slender fingers like a lady, or Dorian Gray.

Unfortunately my Lady Fingers don't work with capacitive screens.

But like with most things, if them writers on the Internet could get use to typing on the iPad, so can you. Otherwise, Apple does offer an expensive keyboard accessory to rob you of more of your hipster money, and there are cheaper alternatives out there. But the point of the iPad is really to be on the go, and I see all these silly accessories as a complete mockery as a result.

Yes it does heat up
I have no idea what the fuck I was doing earlier, I think I was watching YouTube videos and playing 'The Tribez' (I'm not ashamed of admitting it), and for the first time since I bought the iPad, I actually felt it heating up.

The heat wasn't unbearable, and regular readers should know that I'm a pussy, so if I can bear it then it surely isn't that bad. But I can imagine people getting all panicky about the whole thing. Good job they weren't around when fire was first discovered.

You still need your computer
Ok I'm not going to be an arsehole about this one.

I know you don't need a computer - just as my future kids won't need mobile phones till they're old enough to drunk dial. As Steve Jobs put it, the iPad wasn't meant to replace computers or laptops, it does what it's supposed to - filling the gap between your laptop and your mobile phone, and for rich people who wants to show off how rich they are.

My gripe has nothing to do with what the iPad wasn't supposed to do, like Photoshopping, Video Editing, Music management etc. My gripe is with what I'm supposed to be able to do without the laptop.

Say I wanna check Facebook on my iPad, I can do most of the Facebook stuff using the Facebook app, except for say... creating groups, events, editing events I've created on the computer and what have you...

Granted that's technically the app writers' fault. But consider this - Facebook and many 'free service' sites generate their revenue through actual website visits and not API calls from their free ad free apps - I just don't see full functionality apps for these popular websites being available anytime soon when it's just a subsidy to keep you using the website.

Yes I can still do everything I need to do on Facebook by jumping onto Safari - but that very action itself defeats the original purpose of the app driven Operating System... And no, it doesn't solve the problem I have with Gmail's enforced mobile interface, which again I can get around by downloading an alternative browser app that can fake user agents etc. but you see what I'm getting at? Also...

And in that vain, I still need to sync this post onto the laptop first before adding in pictures and shit. Much as I can type more with this distraction free approach, my style of blogging will no doubt be impacted - text first, pictures later.



All in all though, I'm still glad to have shelled out £400 for the iPad 3. It's not cheap by any means, and I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. I just happened to have been saving up recently for a treat for myself and your mom.

She loves it.

So will you be buying one / what do you thin of yours? Comment below.

Note: It took me over 3 hours to source photos and do the editing when I jumped back onto the laptop.  No wonder I don't ever get any writing done!